Let’s talk about Burnout

What does burnout feel like? What does it look like? What makes it different from stress and how can you fix it? I experienced burnout last year, and was able to recover without pharmaceuticals, without a stay in a clinic, by making some radical moves. I want to share my experience to help others recognize signs of burnout in themselves or others, share some suggestions on how to start a conversation and get rid of the stigma attached to it.

What is burnout?

Let’s start at the beginning — what is burnout exactly? Burnout is by definition job-related, but it does not necessarily come from overworking. Lots of people work crazy hours all the time and still feel motivated and purpose full and energized by their work. This was me, for most of my career in founding and scaling startups — I loved my work and would proudly self identify as a workaholic. Burnout is not caused by stress, which can be expected from time to time in any job, but a long period of work-related stress, coupled with a lack of alignment between work and appreciation. It is more than being tired at the end of the work week, it is a deep mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.

Research around burnout suggests that it is characterized by three main dimensions — exhaustion, cynicism and a decline in professional efficacy.

It’s the kind of stress that you can’t bounce back from after a yoga class or a long weekend. Burnout is an exhaustion so deep, it goes beyond sleep and vacation, it changes your personality, and can take away your will to do even basic things. It hits you when your resilience is down, and once it’s there, it’s very hard to get rid of on your own. Most people recognize it too late, and need to be treated with antidepressants or even hospitalized to begin to heal. I’ve seen people close to me suffer from burnout and always assumed that I knew better than to let it happen to me. But it did — I watched it happen, and could only just save myself with some radical moves before it was too late.

How is burnout caused?

Stress at the workplace does not necessarily correlate to the amount of work but the conditions under which the work must be done — lack of communication, lack of clarity, lack of appreciation. Work per se, is not the problem if it is accompanied with the feeling of working toward something, rather than running on the spot. While non-work related stress can also lead to being worn down and feelings of exhaustion, burnout is classified by medical researchers as a workplace issue.

Burnout is classified by the WHO as an occupational phenomenon, not a medical condition; or in the words of the Harvard Business Review : “Burnout is about your workplace, not about your people.”

Until now, burnout has been seen as mostly an individual or employee issue, but as much as it is an individual resilience building problem, it is also an HR problem. If you work in human resources or a top leadership position, it is your responsibility to ask — what about the conditions at the workplace are making employees unwell?

In her book ‘Beating Burnout at Work: Why Teams Hold the Secret to Well-Being & Resilience, Paula Davis J.D., M.A.P.P. suggests the following six workplace factors lead to employee burnout:

My experience with burnout

My burnout came on the tail of the long process of selling my company and staying on to manage the post merger integration. I felt a strong sense of stewardship towards the values we had created for the company and the team, and a responsibility to provide my teams with clear communication and goals and a framework within which they could succeed.

Psychology Today suggests overachievers are especially prone to burnout because they are used to extended periods of overworking and stress and less likely to see it coming.

The weird thing about me is that even when I knew I was worn out, I did not step back from my work — I threw myself at the problem harder than even, thinking that if only I worked hard enough, I would be able to fix the workplace disconnect. Surely I had the skills to get the clarity I needed to succeed. As a leader — it was my job to fix the problem. As an overachiever — I was also looking to prove my value by doing more for our community and company value and followed big M&A opportunities and community and public health campaigns over evenings and weekends. As a mom — I was dealing with corona lockdown & homeschooling my elementary school kids. I should have known that these things in combination were too much, but I ignored it.

The first time I acknowledged my situation was when a mom friend texted me to organize a playdate for our kids, and I just couldn’t reply to her. The simple decisions about the date and time were overwhelming to me. Unfortunately, she texted me the reply she meant to send to her husband which included some really unfavourable messages about me, and I knew she would see this mistake and feel terrible. So I got on the phone and used the words exhaustion and burnout for the first time. This made it real.

I knew I had to change something and worked hard on a plan to change my situation. This didn’t come right away, and it didn’t come easily, but it did come. If you think this can’t happen to you — you are wrong. If you think you don’t know anyone who is suffering with this at the moment, you are also wrong — burnout in times of corona, is on the rise.

What does Burnout feel like?

Burnout feels like being really tired over a really long period of time. It is a deep and dragging exhaustion, that makes even simple things feel hard. At one point a resignation or cynicism can set in, and then the simple things can feel even harder — because what’s the point?

Physically, my experience was characterized by an overwhelming feeling of tiredness : this may also have been a post-COVID side effect. Other physical symptoms included: difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, headaches, brain fog, stomachaches. Emotionally my experience was characterized by the following feelings: tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, drained, cynical, irritable, anxiety, negativity.

If you are dealing with some of these symptoms, or recognize them in a colleague or friend, please take action.

How to deal with burnout?

There are basically three Rs when it comes to dealing with burnout : recognize, react, and build resilience.

Recognize: Take time to reflect honestly about your health — write down how you are feeling, so you can monitor this over time. Note your energy levels and your feelings. I recommend tracking these in a journal, like EinGuterPlan. If you see a prolonged drop in both, please see a medical professional for consultation.

React: See if there are ways you can bring your work more in line with your values to make work more meaningful. Ask your manager for more frequent feedback, spend more time with colleagues at work who lift you up and support you in your work.

Build resilience: Make sure to take your breaks and stop working evenings and weekends — prioritize your off time as highly as your on time. Sleep as much as you can. Invest more time in personal relationships that are energy-giving.

How to talk about burnout?

If you notice that a friend or colleague starts acting differently please be a support to them. Here are the key things to look for: change in mood and performance: marked by increase in cynicism & negativity and decrease in work performance. This is exactly when helpful and supportive conversations are needed.

Here are some ways I would have loved someone to start a conversation with me :

• Give a compliment on a recent work accomplishment to boost morale — make it specific! “you’re doing really great at this…” Appreciation of work well done goes a long way to improve mood and motivation.
• On this note : Bring up a positive memory — “Remember that time / event / project we worked on together?”
• Offer help & feedback— “ are there any projects you could use more resources on?” or “would you like a sparring partner on this …?” If you notice some areas are not well enough defined or executed, offer helpful and specific feedback to show what is needed.
• Offer a reminder about down-time — “How are you going to rest up / get strength after this project? Do you have some re-charging planned?” If you are in a leadership position, suggest taking some vacation days.
• And especially if you are in a leadership position : lead by example to promote healthy work -life balance.
• Find a way to remind that person that they are not alone — share a similar experience or offer to listen — “Do you have someone to talk to?”

This is an extraordinary time, where people are being asked to do more, in much different circumstances than before. Let’s work together to keep each other safe and healthy, and remove stigma from topics like these. Take time in your team meetings to check in on how everyone is doing, pay someone an unexpected compliment for their work, go for a walk with a colleague and call your strong friend!